Hi all,

Well I have finally had my middle toe, top bone and toe nail amputated. I hope once this heals that I’ll be able to walk further without pain. But boy did it hurt having it done. Not the operation itself but the 6 numbing needles beforehand.

The surgeon came into my room with what I can only describe as a horse needle and said this will be done before the op to ensure it is completely numb. When I had my 4th toe done it was numbed during surgery so this was new. He then proceeded to inject me on the top of my broken toe, down my nail each side and two more either side further down. These he had to push in deep and move around as he said ‘he had to get through scar tissue.’ I was ok at first and then when it got to these I nearly screamed and he said ‘stop fighting me, just relax your foot!’ I could have thumped him.

But after five agonising minutes it was over and within a further ten it was completely numb.

The operation only took ten minutes. In my last op I could feel the surgeon filing and pulling my skin stitching, but this time I didn’t feel anything. Even when I got home there was no pain, which is good.

It’s now five days later and apart from it feeling sore, like when you have a cut, it’s fine. Apart from the mass of bandage and the fact that I can’t walk on it for a week!

I am still waiting for my new suction leg (which I don’t think is ever going to happen) so maybe the rest will do me good, although I am so bored.

I also left my job last week. I was trying to get back into my normal routine, hoping it would go back to how it was. But I found as the months went on that it was just adding another stressful thing to my mind.

Worrying about the amount of time I was having off for operations and hospital appointments, what people would be thinking of me, panicking about travelling to work and having to sit at the front of the bus because I can’t get up fast enough when I press the bell to stop.

Having to deal with employees at work who had returned from sick leave complaining about trivial little things, wanting to scream at them ‘you don’t know how lucky you are!’

So I gave my notice.

It still feels like I’m on sick leave with my foot bandaged up and it’s weird realising I don’t have to plan for things on a weekend, I can do them any day I want. I’m not stressed anymore and can finally take time to really heal.

I have my carpel tunnel surgery due in January 2014 and then I’m going to ask my plastic surgeon to file down the over grown bone on my stump. Then that should be it.

Time heals all things. x

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